It’s Christmas and Christmas wouldn’t be complete without Christmas Cracker Jokes to bring a yule tide smile to your face.

My son for about a month has been coming up with the corniest jokes, there that bad there good well at least for a Christmas Cracker, I think he’s found his calling :) so I thought I would include his jokes in with the Christmas Cracker jokes.

If anyone discovers a good Christmas Cracker Joke post it below in the comment section, so everyone can ‘Enjoy’ it :)

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Don’t know what a Christmas Cracker is?

No it’s not an attractive young woman in a skimpy Santa suit, although I think my hubby would love to pull one of those at the dinner table :)

In England we have a tradition after we have eaten our Christmas dinner we all get together with the family around the dinner table and pull a Christmas cracker each.

The cracker is pulled between two people usually the person you sat next to at dinner and whom ever ends up with the largest side after it’s been pulled wins the goodies inside.

Inside the cracker there is usually a paper hat that the winner must wear for the rest of the day, a toy and a joke.

Christmas cracker jokes are renowned for being the worst jokes in the world, but we all love to groan at the punch line and in England Christmas wouldn’t be the same without them.

Since Christmas is fast approaching I thought I would write down my favourite cracker jokes and bring an early smile to your face.

Enjoy :-)

1. What do you get if you cross a Kangeroo with a footballer?
A Kangerooni (one of my son’s, you can see what I mean now :))

2. What do you get if you call an Alligator?
A Crocodial

3. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost

4. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff

5. Got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
Not her main present, it’s just a stocking filler

6. 2 snowmen in a field, one turns to the other and says, “can you smell carrots?”

7. What do you call a Donkey with 3 legs?
A Wonkey

8. What do you get when you cross a lion with a snowman?
Frostbite

9. Why did the bakers hands smell?
Because he kneaded a poo

10. My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.
You should’ve seen her face when I came home drunk.

11. What did the chicken say to the librarian?
Book book book book book.

What did the frog say in reply?
Read it.

12. Two fish in a tank. One says to the other, “Can you drive this thing?”.

13. What wobbles and flies?
A Jelly-copter

14. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.

15. What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.

16. What did the fish use to poke someone on Facebook?
A fish finger

17. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it

18. Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Because he couldn’t concentrate

19. What did the inflatable teacher at the inflatable school say to the inflatable child caught holding a pin?
You let me down, you let your friends down, you let your school down but most of all… you let yourself down.

20. What kind of paper likes music?
(W)rapping paper