Funny Jokes

It’s Christmas and Christmas wouldn’t be complete without Christmas Cracker Jokes to bring a yule tide smile to your face.

My son for about a month has been coming up with the corniest jokes, there that bad there good well at least for a Christmas Cracker, I think he’s found his calling so I thought I would include his jokes in with the Christmas Cracker jokes.

If anyone discovers a good Christmas Cracker Joke post it below in the comment section, so everyone can ‘Enjoy’ it

Don’t know what a Christmas Cracker is?

No it’s not an attractive young woman in a skimpy Santa suit, although I think my hubby would love to pull one of those at the dinner table

This is hilarious, Hell has no fury like a woman scorned.

We went on a cheating husband treasure hunt tonight around Skegness

Dotted around Skegness on our usual walk we discovered leaflets that announced:

ABANDONED!

Ian Willis dumped 9 children and a baby on his way to live with his mistress after 23 years. He works in Lings Funland Bingo (arcade) with his mistress

How Disgusting!

OOWEEE Girl, that’s showing him

Good for you

I’m with you all the way and if I see him I’ll be sure to point and laugh loudly at him, photo was a nice touch

Every one loves funny cat videos, in this funny cat yodeling video not only do I get to laugh but I also get to enjoy some good classical music with a feline twist

My son showed me this video and at first I didn’t know whether to laugh or call the RSPCA, LOL

I decided to laugh very funny cat video, although this man’s got way to much time on his hands. I thought it was only lonely women that spent to much time with their cats, apparently you can have crazy cat men as well as crazy cat ladies.

I love the info at the end of the video ‘None of the kittens, yodelers or engineers where harmed during the making of this film. They were, however, moderately annoyed’ .

I haven’t been feeling very well and I’ve been in bed most of the day so I thought I would cheer myself up with some funny Baby Videos.

If I had a wish I would wish to have a laugh so infectious and pure as a babies laugh it’s a shame we don’t get to keep our hearty laughs, it must be great to be a baby.

Enjoy!

Dude you have a Lettuce on your Head

We all know E-fits of crime suspects don’t look anything like the perpetrator, but this is Hilarious.

I think if there was someone walking around with a lettuce for hair and no ears, he would have been stopped by the fashion police years ago

I laughed out loud when I saw this on Sky News, my hubby even recorded it for me, so I didn’t miss it.

Hampshire police have defended their decision to release the Lettuce Hair E-fit of a suspect who stole £60 from an elderly lady’s handbag after he had finished some garden work for her.

I was looking up more jokes on the web to put on my blog and found these

You have to read these! I laughed so much I had tears in my eyes, the laughing became so severe I had to take a break and put my lap top down

I laughed so hard my Stomach hurt, I think I’ve pulled a muscle, LOL

These Jokes are supposedly letters sent to UK councils from tenants to do with repair or complaints about neighbours.

Don’t know if there real or not, but who cares there hilarious either way, Enjoy

Woman tenant complaining about next doors DIY repairs:
“He has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it any more.”

Since I’m learning to drive I thought I’d put up some Funny Car Insurance Claims, just to remind everyone it’s not just learner drivers that are numpties

“I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way..”

“Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early..”

“The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.”

“I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.”

I’ve looked on the Internet for April Fools Day pranks that over the years have fooled communities and some times whole nations

I was pranked myself last year by my local paper.

In my little seaside town of Skegness we have a old clock tower that is a symbolic landmark of our town.
The clock tower has been apart of Skegness since 18th century and is in the hearts of the residence of Skegness as much as it’s visitors.

My son made me laugh to day, he’s going through a stage of speaking in accents and his favourite is an American Redneck Accent.
He made up a Redneck joke that made me laugh and it gave me an idea to post funny jokes that I like on my blog and I’m starting with Redneck jokes.

My top twenty favourite Redneck jokes (see if you can guess which is my sons joke) Enjoy

You might be a Redneck if the people on Jerry Springer’s show remind you of your neighbors.

You might be a Redneck if you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.